Friday, March 25, 2016

Infertility: When Friends Have Babies

Be warned...I'm about to get real.  As I write about infertility my hope and prayer is to expose you to the real gut pain that is happening to so many couples.  I can only share with you my experience, but my prayer is that if you are currently in the middle of infertility you can find hope in that you are not alone.  If you are just reading this blog, my prayer is that your heart becomes more tender to the pain of infertility.

We love our friends.  We love that their family is expanding. Is it hard? Yes!  Do we celebrate with them? Yes!

Chances are if you are struggling with infertility you have gone to your fair share of baby showers for your friends.  You may have even thrown a baby shower or two for your best friend.  I threw a few of them for some friends.

Friends having babies, going to baby showers are both exciting and hard.  It is a weird combination of feelings.  Your heart is so full of joy for your friends and so full of pain that you cannot have a child.  The crazy thing is it happens simultaneously.  Wait, how can you be full of joy and pain at the same time?  You can.

"Should I go to the shower or go see the new baby?  It will be hard!" This may sound weird, but if you just can't attend a baby shower because you just found out you weren't pregnant, by all means DON'T GO!  Sometimes attending those things are more painful than helpful. 

BUT if you are in a good place or even a semi-good place...GO.  Rejoice with them. 

Romans 12:15 has become one of my life verses. "Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn."  Maybe it is because i understand both joy and pain, or maybe it is something completely different. I don't know.  But one thing I do want to be known for is someone who rejoices when others rejoice.

So when your friends are having babies, do what you can.  Don't push yourself to the point of depression, anger and severe pain.  It's not worth it.  Just send them a gift.  But if you are in a place where you can handle it, even if it is still hard to attend.  Attend the shower, or go to the hospital and see that new baby.  Support your friends, love on them and their new baby.  Rejoice with them.

Romans 5:3 "We can rejoice too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance."

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