Saturday, May 07, 2016

Infertility: Dealing with Mother's Day

I know I said I was done with this series, but with the upcoming Mother's Day celebration, I thought I would write a little something. 

Mother's Day is a wonderful day to honor those in our life who love, support, and give sacrificially to us. It is a wonderful day!  I love my mom deeply and appreciate her more than I can express with words. 

But for those struggling with infertility, this day is crushing, painful, and downright hard. It is a day being constantly reminded of your desire not being fulfilled. 

At our church we have a baby dedication service. Although meaningful for those involved, it's painfully suffocating for those struggling with infertility. Again, the painful reminder. 

It is also a reminder to those around who look at you with sorrowful eyes. They simply are reminded of your pain and they give that sheepish smile. All well intended mind you and most of the time done out of a spirit of love.  But crushing all the same. 

Mother's Day 2007, I had been struggling with infertility for 6 years and I was growing quite weary. After helping with baby dedication and saying with a smile, "Happy Mother's Day!" about what seemed like 100,000 times, I was done. I told my husband, "next year I'm staying home."  It was too painful to bear.  My super awesome and supportive husband understood and welcomed the thought. He's so cool. 

Here are some suggestions for dealing with Mother's Day. 
1. Celebrate your mom the Saturday before. Explain to her why you want to celebrate her and how Mother's Day in general is so hard. Most likely your mom will get it and support you. 

2. Don't go to events that celebrate moms. I know that sounds awful. You love and support moms all year, take a day away. And let's face it, no one will noticed that you weren't there, they're too busy celebrating.  

3. Do something extra special with your spouse. Go to a movie, go on a hike, go do something. It is good to get out and play on this day. Otherwise we tend to feel alone and sad. But be warned, stay away from the lunch time hour...moms galore!

4. Write in a journal what happened that day. Write about he joyful fun things you did. Make sure you title it "Mother's Day". 

Now, I don't have it all together and don't know all of the answers, but at least I hope you find this helpful!

You are loved. Hang in there!!

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